Soo...I have this perpetual flashback...
I'm at a party. I see two acquaintances chatting. I screw up my nerve, walk over and make a witty comment related to something one of them just said. I laugh at my own brilliance before I realize. Silence. They stare blankly before walking away, leaving me standing there...the fading chuckle still on my face.
The feeling of wanting to fade into the wallpaper is overwhelming.
And unfortunately, Twitter sometimes makes me feel the EXACT. SAME. WAY. Oh, I try to banter. Add my snarky comments to a conversation. Will myself to be funny and charming...and...and...funny.
It happened the other day. My funny comment fell flat...and the conversation died. I felt like the girl with the giant L on her forehead.
Twitter sometimes makes me feel like I'm on the outside. All those funny, charming, brilliant people interacting. And then there's me. Just trying to fit into the club. Trying to join in the conversation.
But you know what? I refuse to fade into the wallpaper. Because sometimes, the cool people talk back. They laugh with me. They follow me. And it feels good to be on the inside. And I always try to remember when someone joins the conversation what it feels like to be the wallpaper.